how to have an engagement session that feels like you
I am sitting in my favorite corner of our couch with the sun streaming in through the big window behind me, feeling super reflective as wedding season kicked off last weekend and is back for good for the time-being! I get to work with several new photographers this go-around, as well as shoot my own celebrations, and that knowledge alone has me revved up for what I know will be a good year. It feels like spinning the Wheel of Fortune each Saturday, but it’s rigged, and it lands on the million-dollar wedge almost every time.
Leading up to these days, though, are opportunities for engagement photos, which I feel like set the tone between me and a couple in so many ways, the biggest one — and the one screamed on every photographer’s page — being getting to know each other on your turf! Yes, yours! These photos, as much as they may feel like it because I’m behind the camera, are not about me. They have nothing to do with me! In these situations, I would love if the result was that I was basically invisible and you were on a date unbeknownst to me or anyone else.
One huge thing that is important in setting up for these sessions is thinking of spots you would suggest in a heartbeat if you were going out on a Friday night together. Of course, the places we pick can just be ones you think are pretty or aesthetically pleasing, but why not both? For example: if Nick and I were to do engagement photos again, I think we would pick Bell Tower Brewing in Kent to be one of our locations, given that it’s gorgeous, sure, but we actually go there frequently, with friends and just the two of us. Do you have a stretch of your neighborhood you walk on together often? Is there a sushi place you meet at on a weekly basis? Are you those people that have movie passes at a theater near you that so many people swear they will get their money’s worth of and you actually do?
When I was first charging for shoots — or maybe even when I was doing free ones — I went back and forth on what to tell people for wardrobe. I would tell some clients just not to wear patterns. I would tell others to do literally whatever made them feel comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I still stand by those tenets in some way! I think I can be a little more direct with it: if I were were in the clients’ shoes, I would take to Pinterest or Instagram and just quickly throw together a board or a saved folder with some photos that feature clothes I am drawn to; then, I would identify if there’s anything in my closet I already own that looks close to what I favorited. There is no use in driving yourself crazy running to the mall or an online shop a few days before to buy something you may only wear once! These photos are meant to show you in your natural, everyday state.
That’s not to say you can’t pick out something fresh, though! After looking through your wardrobe, I would go back to the photos and sort through what else you like about them. Are the outfits layered? Do they have a pop of color in an otherwise neutral look? Is the focus on one standout piece, like a coat or belt? I am sitting here typing this with almost zero fashion knowledge, and I am sure TikTok could tell you much more concisely what I mean, but through a combination of what you’re drawn to in photos and what you already know you feel flattered in, you cannot go wrong when you show up to our first spot.
Location, location, location! I am a huge advocate for not only picking somewhere familiar to you, but picking a few places you know and love. This is for a variety of reasons: a few different looks to the gallery, a more meaningful peek into your life and an opportunity to pause in between takes, driving to the next spot and recapping with your partner how it’s been going to this point. This also can help with posing! You might want an open outdoor spot where you’re going to be doing a lot of standing and walking, so picking a bar to end the night at will bring a lot of cute sitting-at-a-table-or-booth shots you wouldn’t have gotten otherwise.
If you genuinely don’t know where to start, hand the reins over to me and I’ll suggest a few things that you may not otherwise have thought of. It’s lowkey embarrassing sometimes how fast my brain is whirring when Nick and I show up somewhere new and all I can think of is that would be such a cool photo spot. This is something I say out loud often and that he could probably auto-predict at this point 💀
To wrap it all up: just remember it’s not that serious! I say this as a photographer who treats these with so much care and preparation, but at the end of the day, they are photos from one small sliver of what I hope to be a very long-stretching life. They hold so much meaning, the biggest being documenting you in this specific slice of pre-wedded bliss — and I take that part very solemnly! You are going to live so many more days beyond these ones, though, so think of these like small snippets to include in a scrapbook bursting at the seams with all the stories to follow. I am mature enough to know this is only the beginning, but I thank you for being trusting of me to capture them anyway. Let’s run around the city, dance, crack up and have you forget you get a product at the end.
